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To Lakshmidas Gandhi |
27. V. 1906, Johannesburg Respected brother, I have your letter of the 17th April. I do not what to say. You are prejudiced against me. There is no remedy against prejudice. I am helpless. I can only reply to your letter in full. 1. I have no idea of separating from you. 2. I claim nothing there. 3. I do not claim anything as mine. 4. All that I have is being utilized for public purposes. 5. It is available to relations who devote themselves to public work. 6. I could have satisfied your desire for money if I had not dedicated my all public use. I have never said that I have done much for brothers or other relations. I gave them all that I could save; and this I have mentioned not out of pride, and only to friends. Rest assured that I will cheerfully assume the burden of supporting the family in case you pass on before me. You need have no fear on that score. I am not now in a position to send you money as you desire. It is well if Harilal is married; it is also well if he is not. For the present at any rate I have ceased to think of him as a son. I am willing to go to India to attend Mani's wedding if at all possible. But I cannot give you any idea of my present condition. I am so hard pressed for time that I scarcely know what to do. Please cable the date of marriage, so that if possible I might hold myself in readiness to go. I might perhaps inform you that I am in debt to Revashankarbhai. You may repudiate me, but still I will be to you what I have always been. I do not remember that I expressed a desire to separate from you when I was there. But even if I did, my mind is now quite clear, my aspiration are higher and I have no desire for worldly enjoyments of any type whatever. I am engaged in my present activities as I look upon them as essential life. If I have to face death while thus engaged, I shall face it with equanimity. I am now a stranger to fear. I like those who are pure in heart. Young Kalyandas, Jagmohandas's son, is like Pralhad in spirit. He is therefore dearer to me than one who is a son because so born. |