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57. To Hermann Kallenbach1 |
Nandi Hills, As I lie in bed and look up old undisposed of correspondence and revive old and sacred memories, I chance upon your letter of 27th February sent with Andrews' letter from your home at Inanda, and I revive so many pleasant and sacred memories. Every letter that you have written during the last two years—and you have not written many, has been a despondent letter, distressful of yourself; but as long as I live I am not going to lose faith in you. I am hoping that some day as before you will have a fatigue of the exciting things that gives you momentary pleasure and that you will at least come to India to meet an old friend and renew many old acquaintances. You have made a provisional promise to do so next September or October. Do come if you can and then stay as long as you like or as little as you like. I am glad you are having short spells of Andrews' company. I have not come across a humbler or more god-fearing man throughout my varied experience. You don't want me to say anything about my illness; because I see you do get Young India and read it. I am at the present moment taking my cure on a little hill in the State of Mysore where an army of devoted volunteers and many of my closest co-workers are looking after me. Mrs. Gandhi and Devdas are with me. The names of others would mean nothing to you. So I do not give them. But when you do come, you will see them all and recognize them as having been with me on this hill. This loss of strength came in the twinkling of an eye. Latterly I had put such terrific strain upon the brain that I was afraid of a crisis and it came just when I was arranging to have a lighter programme. But God seemed to say 'I shall demolish your pride before you recognize your mad method and show you that you were utterly wrong in rushing as you have been doing thinking that it was all well because it was for a good cause. You fool you thought that you would work wonders. Have your lesson now and learn whilst there is yet time that God alone is to wonder work and He uses whom He pleases as His instrument.' I am taking the chastisement I hope in due humility and if He raises me from this sick bed, I am making Him promises that I shall reform my ways and shall seek still more strenuously to know His will unto it. I hope you are keeping in touch with Manilal. He has got a girl with a strong character as his wife. She is the best girl I could possibly have found for him. Chance put her my way. She belongs to godly family. Remember you are one of the trustees for Phoenix and I look to you to discharge your trust. Sastri will be in South Africa probably within a month of your receipt of this. I have had long chats with him about you and your associations with Gokhale. Do try to be closely to him and bring all our old companions in touch with him. Yours sincerely, 1 Hermann Kallenbach-A German associate of Gandhiji in South Africa |